Raising a Resilient Child

Do you feel uncertain about whether your child can handle the tough moments in life?

What evidence do you have that they will be able to flourish and get back up if and when they get inevitably knocked down by life’s turbulence?

Well if you’re in doubt and looking for certainty…here’s a framework for raising a resilient child…..

Step 1: Look at the Foundation and Your Legacy.

What is the foundation of parenting that your child is receiving today? Is it responsive, attachment-based, with high expectations AND high support? When your kid is a 30 year old adult one day….what kind of parenting do you want them to describe that they had? What legacy are you leaving for your grandchildren?

Step 2: Handling Big Emotions and Challenging Behavior.

In the heat of the moment….when the tornado hits…How do you respond to your child’s meltdowns and angry explosions? Our child’s emotional regulation is the root of their own resilience. Each time you respond with empathy, validation and safety- you’re helping your child build the neural network for self-regulation (through your co-regulation). This is brain work you’re doing!

Step 3: Building Resilience Skills & Mastery.

Nobody can learn when their brain is trying to survive a tornado and feels under attack. So don’t teach lessons and try to discipline your child when they’re in Step 2. Save the lessons and skill building for when they’re “out of the red zone”! Then LISTEN first and foremost and let them build their own capacity to reflect on their behavior. Prompt them with questions like, “I understand, makes sense. I wonder what you could do differently next time….?”

Step 4. Role Model by Being a Resilient Parent.

As you already know, your kid will not always do what you say, but they will always, EVENTUALLY, do what you do. So take a moment to self-reflect….how are you role modeling Resilience for your child? And if you’re not exactly where you want to be, no shame, no blame. The self-compassionate inquiry then would be: “what can I do now to support myself?”

Step 5: Parenting Scripts, Practical Action Steps and Next Steps.

Now it’s time to set up a daily routine of habits. What are you implementing for habits to support yourself? And create a home that supports your child? Drill down to a new habit each week. Just one per week. We can’t learn 5 things at once. One at a time. And watch your family transform!

As we navigate the complexities of parenting, let us remember the power of resilience, both in ourselves and in nurturing it within our children.

Interested in delving deeper into this topic? Join me inside my Delight in Parenting Membership with a 30 day Free Trial to join a community of other parents just like you. Parenting is hard, and we all need support to do hard things. What have you got to lose?